Tuesday, August 05, 2003 . "barbed wire"

i feel like crying or yelling or sumthing. i need to let it out. it's not sadness or anger or what else....it's just a shit feeling.
like when multiple shit things happen at the same time, coincide at the same point, meet at the same junction. i absolutely hate it. never mind.

i tend to think this blogging business appeals to many because of it's escapist nature. it's a good place to go hide or trash things out. just run away from whatever bugs you.
but hell...who really cares right.

today i saw her with this guy (let's just call him R)...i guess it's probably no big deal but it hurt a hell lot. i don't know why it hurts but it does. i mean they were only talking on the way to lecture...and she's not obliged to me coz she has her own life now. and i mean, who am i?
doesnt matter.

i realised that often, a huge sigh can make you feel better. but it usually has an adversed effect if repeated.

i don't want to go to school anymore. i hate it. and they added barbed wire to the fence so people can't climb it. and there's a new 'one inch rule'. hair can't be standing an inch above your head. shirt can't be tucked out more than an inch. what else...socks have to be an inch above ankles. we live in S'pore...and here, we measure by the metric system, i.e. mm, cm, m, km, etc...to hell with the blooming inches.

today's tiring...ended sch at 12.20...rushed home for math tuition at 1...rushed back to school for math remedial at 4.20....then went for training. life really does suck. which reminds me...Andrew had this corny idea about naming his son "Life".
i.e. Life Tan. so it's like when people go "life sux"...haha...someone will obviously get really defensive.
it's ok if no one gets what i'm trying to say. i'm often mistaken these days.

i realised i missed a pretty good episode of Smallville yesterday. darn it.
and rugby does wonders...it gets your mind off alot of things. escapism escapism.

anyhow's, i'm feeling much better now.


PS. if i sound like i'm indulging in self-pity, maybe i am. but i'm not entirely sure.


screaming infidelity at 9:08 PM
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