Friday, August 08, 2003 . my handphone rings...

good morning...

it's national day eve...i can't feel the hype. but who really cares anyway right?
im suppose to be in school playing this stupid amazing race thing...i bet it's gonna be dumb and i was too tired to get out of bed this morning so i decided to skip it. somehow i have a feeling it's gonna turn out to be real fun. too late...

i was awaken this morning by the alarm...then went back to sleep. then i was awaken again by a phone call from Alden. juz as i hang up with him...my sis comes home. dude! it's 8 in the morning and she just came home. haha....she stayed over at her friend's place to do work...so she juz came back to get changed before going to school again. i suspect she went clubbing...liar.

anyway...one month can feel like a very very long time. when was it when we watched that much dreaded movie with edison and the irritating girls? i hate that day...althought in retrospect, there are alot of things i could have done to make that day better. argh...
it's alot of mixed feelings when i see her now. im happy...because...im not sure why. but i feel disappointment coz she represents what was lost...and what will never be possible again. (optimistically, im still hoping it's possible). im happy when she smiles and looks happy...but then it also shows that she's probably happier this way. she's happier without me...and for that sake, maybe i should stop interfering with her life.
i keep thinking of singing this vonda shepard song for her...maybe it isnt such a good idea after all.

i'm going back to sleep...




screaming infidelity at 8:44 AM
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