Wednesday, June 02, 2004 .

ok.
it's officially official.
i'm on MC!
haha...it suddenly feels damn good.

anyway...i've been reading a couple of blogs recently.
there's this one that belongs to some person i know.
but it's weird. she, this person i know, is a remote acquaintance.
do you have any idea how bad that sounds?
she's neither a remote friend nor a plain acquaintance.
she's a remote acquaintance!
man.

and after reading just one page of her blog and viewing her countless pictures (which now feels very voyueristic), i've come to realise how surreal it all is.
i know her more than maybe some of her classmates or school mates. and stuff like that.
i mean...and she hardly even knows me.

what the fuck?

i dunno man.
good example of how technology brings people together.
abit too close for comfort if you ask me.
darn.
and it's amazing how many people you can link to through blogs.
it's kinda like Friendster.
fuck.

i'm feeling sick. sick with myself.
feels like i've intruded someone's privacy.
peeked into someone's home.
stalked someone.
it feels fucked up.

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

i've read more than one blog.
more than one blog belonging to a remote acquaintance.
the only consolation is that i actually know them...however remotely.

ouch.

you can get lost in the internet.
it's like a dream.
you get off your chair after a while and think..."dude...what just happened?"
"did i just..."
"what the hell was that all about?"

it's weird.

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

i wanna get a digi cam.
real badly.
recommendations anyone??

i wont be able to save any money in the near future.
but i'd sure as hell be able to spend it.

money will go to the camera and driving lessons.
soon...soon i'll save up.

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

this partly has to do with my "voyueristic" experience.
and partly occurred when i was talking to my buddies in camp.

i suddenly feel wrong.
i know i'm from Cat High.
i know i'm from NYJC.
actually...im not from NY.
it's merely a place i studied for 3years. (then again...i din even study there)

it feels like a big part of my life is missing.
like i wasnt suppose to walk this path.
i feel like i belong elsewhere.
like this is all wrong.
like i need to wake up and realise im still in sec4.

almost everything after that is wrong.
dun get me wrong.
i love you guys. trememdously.

is that what they call a quarter life crisis?
im too young even for a quarter life crisis.

something is wrong.



screaming infidelity at 8:30 PM
------