Saturday, September 25, 2004 .

i had a dream...

i had a dream. in this dream, i am exactly how i look now.
i did not have to do NS.
i would have just graduated from JC (the 2 best years of my life yet).
i would have had a place in either SMU, UNSW or UCLA.

i did not have to worry about whether or not my parents could afford my extravagant freshman lifestyle because they're real estate empire is bringing in the cashflow.

i dont drive a fancy car....but it's definately something i like.
i dont go wine & dine at up town hotels or restuarants, but i eat whatever i want to, whenever i can.

i work hard.
i do well.
i succeed my parents and they get to retire early knowing someone competent is taking care of their business.

and i wake up.

what you want most is what you fuckin cant have...
what doesnt belong to you.
the forbidden fruit.
the road not taken.
the secret garden.

if you think life sucks....think again.
sucks is grossly understated.
it's sucks more than all the black holes in the cosmos combined.

psuedo-agnst you think?
i dunno.
maybe.
but arent i a little too old for that?

i am not too old for anything.
i think that im superman all the time.
i think how great it would be if i was bulletproof, if i could fly, if i could run like the winds, carry the earth on my shoulders.

how great it would be if i were superhuman.
free from all the humanly pains.
not bound by earthly rules.

my dad told me once that i like running away from my problems.
escapism is my forte.




screaming infidelity at 11:16 PM
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