Sunday, December 26, 2004 .

i dont know where to start.
hell, i was travelling in thailand, and since the journeys there never come short of half an hour, i had plenty of time to think about things.
given the circumstances, i doubt anyone's mind could avoid wandering to infinity and beyond.
very often my thoughts are random and incoherent.
but one thought stuck to me.
that's what im gonna talk about.


hands up those who say they've never stoned before?
commonly known as "stoning", this phenomenon happens to a bulk of the population.
by "the population" i mean our population. singaporeans.
cos i heard from friends who've lived abroad for a considerable amount of time, that people there dont stone.
honestly, i prefer to call it "zone-out"


okay, i have to be quick about this.
(cos im late for an appointment)
what are we really doing when we zone-out?
we're thinking? maybe.
we're letting our eyes go into soft focus such that everything goes blurry and let our minds go free-wheel? maybe.
we're doing both of the above mentioned? maybe.


thing is, no one can really put a finger on that.
no one knows what it is to really stone.
the defining bounderies, the edges.


that aside.
what's happening to us when we stone?
are we subconsciously defragmenting our thoughts?
reorganising our neuro-files?
or just resting?
i dont know.


by now i would imagine that you're getting bored.
im gonna continue.


im sure there's a reason why people stone.
my take on that sounds silly.
i believe that the reason people zone-out (besides possible scientifically proven reasons) is because they need a buffer between how long they should live and how long they actually live.
let me explain.
hypothetically, say the Big Guy thinks you're good to live for 60years.
which is to say that you have 60years of life to live.
but, for some divine reason or another, you need to be on Earth till you're 80.
i'm not really good at math, but i roughly worked out that you're somewhat short of 20years dude.


where does it come from?
that's when my theory steps in.
all that time you stone makes up for the additional 20.
it's like everytime you zone-out, the clock on Earth, our physical clock and time continues to tick.
it doesnt stop.
but your spiritual, emotional, i dont know what you call it, (Life-clock?) stops.
right there and then.
so while you're physically still alive, you're not exactly living.
still with me?
cos im reaching the end. or did i lose you after my first paragraph?


so to put it really simply, my take on this is that when you're stoning, you're not doing anything.
literally.
it's just a buffer. a rubber-band thing.
some people are suppose to live longer than others, while some are just suppose to be on the planet longer.
get what i mean?
it's really far-fetched, i know.


good writers often blame language for being a barrier.
for it's inability to fully encompass human emotion and the psyche.
i blame myself for not having the words to say what i want to say.






END


screaming infidelity at 11:25 AM
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