and so it is. life doesnt go easy on me. dont we love the assumption that i slack in the army. largely because i give the impression. fact is, i'd love for us to think so too, if only it were true.
dont get me wrong. i dont work hard, and i dont intend to. for this service at least. cos it stinks. el stinko.
but, i have a reasonable amount of work, and more importantly responsibility, that i carry along with the pseudo-glamour of being this thing they call "an officer". in a Paris Hilton bimbotic slang, i say "it's like so whatever".
the more the reality of responsibility gets to your head, the more you dont want it. you just dont have a choice now, because the alternative isnt much of an alternative. and you are so used to the freedom that the price just seems too much.
i guess what i wanted to say was, the more is expected of you, higher are the chances of screwing up. even though it may not entirely be your fault.
i'm really starting to hate my workplace. and the loathe increases exponentially. workplace ethics or office politics, whatever you call it, i hate it too. and im not yet even bitching about moral courage, moral dilema, integrity, ass-covering, and cock sucking, just to name a few.
In fine print: Xinyi --> dont sue me for plagiarism
"Sometimes it is inevitable to be mundane" i try as far as possible to bitch less about my day-to-day, but just as life is mundane, this is inevitable. i feel like i sound shallow and uninteresting when i tell you how much i slept or who i went out with or what i bought or what happened to me during the day. i feel that you're not interested. i feel that it's just been too long since i wrote something half decent. something i'm proud of. something i'd like to show. i feel a desperate need to make a cut somewhere.
i've forgotten how it's like to spend an entire day with friends i love. platonic friends of which the company i genuinely enjoy. do things i truly indulge in. go places i've been dying to go.
if you know me, you know i could be alone if i were in the mood. you will also know that i cant live much longer without friends and company than without food or water.
