Tuesday, February 14, 2006 .

From This Moment


it should have been called "at this moment" but i thought the former was cooler.


i saw a picture my friend posted that was taken on 23rd Jan last year. and as much as this may sound cliche, it was a splendid moment. easily one of the most significant in the last few years. the radio blared Ugly by Sugababes. a song that could have easily made me confuse myself with a closet sissy-music-lover. i remembered a more significant day, 27th Nov last year. it would have been late night 26th if i didn't take my time to make sure she was home, and take even more time to mentally rehearse what i would say to her in that brief minute (it felt like 3minutes to be exact, but im sure it was shorter). i would have been happy if it made any difference, but i guess it eventually wouldn't matter to anyone but myself. i thought about mother and whether she, like most mothers, would like having her son spending more time at home instead of elsewhere (like in camp for example). i thought about how sad The Constant Gardener was, how sad the world in it (a reflection of our world) was. and how sad it would be to eventually lose a spouse - because at best, til' death do us part. i thought about how nobody has decided to talk to me on MSN during the course of me writing this. i thought about how when the A Level results release this friday, that i would have to start doing something about my Uni applications again, and how painfully real it will be to receive, for the third time, a rejection. i thought about how it is the early hours of Valentine's Day and how town will be packed later today with couples and pseudo-couples. i thought about how some people i know can be so obsessed with getting hitched, and being so needy. "needy bitch" was what i used to call them. gender regardless. and i thought about dear friends whom i will leave to far away lands in a matter of months, and how life will cease to be the same anymore. it would appear to me then that life proper, life as it is, will start to begin. begin to start. which ever makes more sense.


at this point in time, i closed the window (deliberately, i might add)without saving the entry. then i came back to retype it. and this time had it published. much ado about nothing i suppose.

screaming infidelity at 12:23 AM
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