Wednesday, April 25, 2007 .

I was in Singapore, Manchester and London at the same time. I spoke to my parents at the entrance to their room while i stood on the cobbles streets. To the left was my room, to the right was an old Colonial building. And in the expanse of the courtyard were people i once knew. Amongst them, hidden (i've yet to figure out how i knew they were there if they were hidden), were people still close to me. There was a plan for me to fly to New York, but an argument with my parents put an end to that.I saw people i didn't want to see. There was no contact, just a glimpse of them walking up the stairs, or across the hallway. All this happening without me moving a muscle. It's like all the scenes were pulled out from their place and stretched across in front of me. I could smell my mother's cooking when i was in my bed. I could see the sunrise above the horizon from under my blanket. I was in a hotel with elevators that moved sideways along the corridor, leaving absolutely no space for a person to walk. I didn't want to go to New York and be alone.

Just two days ago when i took a nap, i dreamt about being at a marina with boats docked by the pier. They had their lights on in splendid colour, making each boat look like a christmas tree. It was evening and i was selling pasta, or rather recommending ways to cook pasta. Events unfold.

A while ago, i started to find terrible difficulty concentrating. Recently, it's been occasional acute stomach and chest pains, Not being able to sleep at night, tossing and turning, and waking up ridiculously early in the morning. Just yesterday, it was nausea, for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was mixing mocha, strawberry smoothie, english breakfast, an oily lunch and cheesecake. And yes...the dreams. Accompanied of course, by hammer blows to the temple that i'm gradually getting used to.

I believe if this persist, that I would begin to time travel in my sleep, leaving my clothes behind and finding myself in places unfamiliar. But there, where i visit, i would find myself. He would teach me the ways to deal with life and make it better, though not make it right.

screaming infidelity at 11:47 AM
------